Well, it’s been almost 2 months since I went to Haiti. So what now? I’d love to go back. Sarah and I have talked about it. I’d love to take her with me and she’d love to go, but she’s not quite ready to leave Caleb for a week just yet! I’m in school again, finishing my BSN and I’ve decided to apply for the Adult Acute Care Nurse Practitioner Program at UK for next year. I’ve really enjoyed my job in CTVU the past few months and I think I always knew that I liked adult ICU, I just didn’t want to admit it! I prayed a lot about this while I was in Haiti and I felt like God was leading me in this direction. Not only for what will hopefully be my career, but all the opportunities like working in the Refuge Clinic or serving in the mission field that might be more available to me in this role.
However, that means that I’ve got to take the GRE in the next few months to make the Feb 15th application deadline! That, plus work, plus school…I’m still praying about a trip to Haiti or somewhere else soon. If God wants me to go, He’ll work it out. I’m taking the long view however. This is all essential preparation that needs to be done to get me ready to serve in a different way. Frankly, there isn’t much call for an RN in short-term overseas medical missions (there are typically nurses already there, either local or long-term missionaries). This trip was a real exception. The other exception is surgical trips where they need OR nurses (which I’m not). But, Nurse Practitioners are always needed.
Plus, I’m learning more and more about another mission field, Lexington. I’ve always known that there is much need for missions here as well, but I’ve always felt more calling to overseas. I don’t think that’s changed, but in the meantime, I think God wants me to work here and not just sit around and wait.
I am praying about something else as well. I’m scared to talk to people about Jesus. There, I said it. I mean, I used to be in ministry and did it all the time. And I did it in Haiti. But in everyday life here in the US…it makes me nervous. I’m afraid of sounding like one of those Christians that makes it all sound too easy. “If you just trust Jesus, all your problems will go away!” That rings hollow for a lot of people with real problems. I know in my head that I can just tell them what He’s done for me. That He’s transformed my life. That He gives me hope to carry on every day. That He can do the same for them. But I just can’t seem to get that out.
This weekend, Jon shared that his dad told him before he died that he had the same fears. What?! Roy Weece recorded in his journal everyone he shared Christ with and what happened after that. He personally led 9000 people to Christ! Not through a pulpit, but through one on one conversation. And that’s not counting those people who he shared with who blew him off only to think of those words years later and decide to surrender their lives.
Roy is a hero of mine. I never got to meet him, but I heard him speak at Southland once and I’ve heard Jon talk about him and his ministry. If HE can admit that he was scared to talk to people, I can too. I’ve started praying for God to help me with that. For Him to give me the opportunities and the words to say, not to go around passing out tracts, but to just love people and tell them about my best friend, the guy who changed my life forever and wants to change theirs too.
I’m still praying about overseas missions. I really feel like God is calling Sarah and I to that in some form or fashion. I don’t know what it is yet, but I will, when it’s time. Until then, I’ve got to trust God and chase after Him with all I’ve got.
If you’ve been reading this blog, thank you for listening to me ramble. Thanks for caring enough to come back. If you would, say a prayer for me to – as our chaplain in Haiti, Phil would say – let the Holy Spirit go before me.
I’ve enjoyed blogging and I’d like to keep it up. Maybe blog about what God is doing in Lexington and in my family and my life. I don’t know if I’ll have the time and I don’t know if anyone would read it! We’ll see..